Needs more herpes signs

I recently got into a rather deep conversation with a friend of mine. During the convo he…

or she…

informed me that he…

or she…

had Herpes. I then went on to ask whether or not they had told their current mate and I got the surprising answer of “hell no”. Not so much a “no” but a “hell no”. Like the mere thought of telling their sexual partner that they were … foul … was completely ludicrous.

Now I get the whole patient doctor confidentiality thing. I get that everyone is entitled to their privacy but there IS a line. And that line starts when any one of my co-workers can walk up to my desk blowing herp-leavins’ from their crotch directly into my mouth without me even being remotely aware*.

Its scary. When I people watch, I find that more often than not this simple time killer of an act quickly turns into a game of “guess that STD”. Not only is it fun, but you always feel “right”. You feel psychic, all knowing.

When I see a “williamsburg” I see Gonorrhea
When I see an emo kid I see Herpes
When I see a man in a suit I see AIDS
When I see a girl wearing a shirt that says “daddy’s little princess” I see all of em

But I dont want to guess, I want to know. Hate the feeling of walking into a bar and talking to some girl all the while praying to god she doesnt throw herpes in my mouth while Im down there “having at it”. I suggest signs. Giant signs hung around the neck telling everyone whats going on around the mouth and crotch. They dont have to be signs that just say “AIDS HERE”. That would be rude. They could be clever little lines that are meant to inform but still be a joy to look at.

POOL CLOSED DUE TO AIDS
Crazy? Yes. I know. And this will never happen but its probably the only way we’ll be able to survive as a species. What type of society do we live in where someone can walk around spreading the foul without having to tell anyone? Its barbaric. Its disgusting.

* not suggesting that any of my co-workers have herpes…though I am weary of one ~_~