This book will change your life (Part 2, Day 4: The redass map edition)

DAY 4

Today, work out your globetrotting plans for the rest of your time on earth, and get on the phone to an accredited travel agent. NB: the State Dept. currently discourages travel to the following countries: Afghanistan, Iraq, North Korea, Turkmenistan, Zimbabwe, North Yemen. • been there done that • intend to go there this year • intend to go there sometime before I die • happy never to set foot there in my whole life.

Now let me explain why my map looks like this. I don’t like traveling. I think its the biggest scam running right now outside of being an early adopter for Mac products (you’re paying to be a field tester you know).

My idea of fun varies from moment to moment. I can have fun where I’m not intended to (predicting whether or not I’d step on something in the street 10 ft before I get to it) and be bored where I’m supposed to be having fun (any loft party I get invited to in Williamsburg). There is no set idea of “fun” in my head.

This fact alone makes me hesitant to travel.

I don’t like the idea of paying to fly somewhere just so I can pay to stay and eat somewhere and MAYbe have a decent time. It’s about the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of. I’m supposed to pay hundreds of dollars to go somewhere just to see if I like it? My ass. And people do this sorta thing all the time and it never makes much sense to me. Go around paying to look at stuff. I took a trip last year and the main fun I had was when I went rock climbing which is something I could’ve done here a mere 20 minutes from my home.

You see, when it comes to spending I think relatively. The idea of spending $500+ for a flight seems iffy to me because I automatically think of how many other things I can buy with that money. Do I want to pay for a flight to get me to and from some place that I might like or do I want to buy 100 Quiznos subs? Its a no brainer.

I do try and want to travel. Its one of those things that I want to want to do. Like reading the news and keeping a sharp eye on what’s going on in the world. But I can’t force it no matter how hard I try. Besides:

“I’m just gonna end up back here anyways…”