Moron, you’re leaning over while you stand up. It’s no different than you crazy sitters, we just don’t have to stick our hand into a toilet to wipe ourselves.
A debate erupted on a messageboard I frequent asking people to reveal whether they wiped their asses whilst sitting or standing. I wasnt surprised. The pure randomness of this messageboard spawns some rather ridiculous banter but its rather entertaining so I stick around.
But in this case it was just bizarre. I was almost sure this was a joke. I suspected the “standing” option was some sick joke answer that some would choose just to be funny. But I was wrong…
This debate went on for roughly 4 pages (200 replies) and many arguments were made that forced me to ACTUALLY take this rather seriously:
If you stand, your ass cheeks are free to go together and smear your poo on your ass.
If you sit, your weight on the toilet seat pulls your ass cheeks aside for maximum anal exposure and minimum smearing.
So given this I must ask: Do people actually wipe their asses standing up? Have I been doing it wrong for the past 23 years? What surprised me most about this is that this debate was the pure disgust that each side had towards the other. The standers couldnt fathom sticking their hand in a toilet to wipe and the sitters couldnt image standing and having their ass cheeks pressed together squishing the poo in the process.
And whats more, either side stated that they had tried it the “other” way and they simply couldnt manage it or figure out the general mechanics of it all…
wtf…
Im a sitter but I couldnt help but wonder whether not Im just doing it wrong. Needless to say I tried the “other” way. It was bizarre and scarey and not too pleasant and not to mention a lot more work than it had to be.
I just dont “get it”.
Kinda makes me wonder what else I could be subjectively doing wrong…am I sexin wrong? Am I NOT sposda put my finger whereever I feels whenever I feels? Who knows.
But I’ll probably never know because Im never gonna ask.
OBAMA IN 08′
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