There is no graceful way for a man to take off his pants

Sex is inherently awkward.

There are so many things that can happen in bed to make it a little more goofy than you intended. Falling off of the bed, attempting some new maneuver that just falls flat, trying to climax on her but missing and hitting the bed instead thus creating more laundry for the bed owner (I hope my little sister isnt reading this) so forth and so on.

But these things can generally be avoided if you just pay attention a little. But as the subject title states, there’s no graceful way for a man to remove his pants.

Ive often tried to change up my methods for this necessary act and have fallen flat every time. I once tried comically kicking them off only to knock down about 6 picture frames sitting on the dresser across the room. The crash and crackle of it all caused me to lose my erection.

I still havent recovered.

Sorry ladies.

The problem, more often than not, lies with the socks. For example, they drastically changed my intended pant trajectory and caused them to hurtle towards the dresser in what can only be describe as a not so lethal gunshot to the mini family and friend photo display mentioned above.

My socks cause me to get stuck at that oh so crucial moment where you’re just about to get them off and continue on your merry way. But the struggle can be intense. Lasting minimum 15 seconds all the while youre coming to the realization that all you really had to do was take your socks off and you wouldve been fine. God forbid you let out a fart because of all the straining.

This has never happened to me but Im only 23 and this pretty much solidifies the fact that this WILL happen at some point in my life … and that scares me.

[/off topic rant]

The fact of the matter is that every situation that you fear most will become a reality at some point. Its never a matter of ‘if’ but a matter of ‘when’ especially if you REALLY dont want it to happen. The trick is to ask for it, expect it, and chances are it will never come to pass. I wake up every morning saying:

“I hope I gets the AIDS or other various STDs today” and you know what?

Im clean.

*Above method probably wont work and youre a fool to think it would.*

[/second off topic rant]

So in conclusion:

Take off your socks.