Maury’s solution for out of control underage teens… situps?

Now Im not gonna sit here and lie to you. Maury is a guilty pleasure for me. I hate it but for some reason I cant stop watching. I cant quite tell you how many hours of my life have been wasted lying in bed, watching women run to the back of the studio after realizing that a million people watching at home just found out she was kind of a hooker. Other shows in this bracket include:

My Super Sweet 16
Parental control
Date my Mom
Me and Jackies sex vid

The truth of the matter is, Maury is a shit talk show host. Calling his show a “talk show” is a bit of a stretch even. He pretty much spends the entire show trying his best to make his guests cry and run to the back of the studio. Its like a sick game for him.

For instance, when he’s reading the results of a lie detector test, he reveals the worst result (ie: your daughter slept with 20 dudes … at once … in your bed) and the mother falls to the floor. Maury then quickly runs to her side in a creepy paternal manner and says calmly “wait I have to read the rest of these”.

WHY? HAVENT YOU HURT HER ENOUGH?

And then today, in one of the worst things he has ever done, a mother is talking about her 14 yr old daughter and he feels this is a great time to look back and say “hey who’s this?” whilst putting up a picture of her daughter at the age of 6 when she wasnt a whore.

The mom cried some more. Maury smiled a little. Fuck him.

But what gets me are his “solutions” to these problems. In what can only be described as “odd shock therapy”, he does the very LAST thing you should do to help someone. You scared of cats? Here’s a parade of cats we put together in your honor. You hate loud noises? Anyone have a chalkboard? Oh you dont like large crowds? Oh Im sorry, for some reason we forgot to let the studio audience in before the show … OH LOOK HERE THEY COME NOW.

The biggest wtf for me occures when he comes up with the be all end all solution for sexually active 14 yr olds.

Bootcamp

Since when do jumping jacks and people yelling in your face stop you from wanting to shag? Heres ab idea, why not just show them the miracle of childbirth vid, stare them right in the face when its over and say:

“…you think your vagina is wide enough for that? I dont think so. Not at 14 it isnt.”

THAT’S shock therapy.

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